Dating – Don’t let nerves get the better of you

Amy,’s Content & Copywriting Coordinator, shares some dating pearls of wisdom…


In a recent article in the Daily Mail actor and Harry Potter mega-star, Daniel Radcliffe, revealed that romance didn’t come naturally to him – ‘I hated dating, I never knew when was the right time to kiss’.

Now, being the lead character in one of the biggest films in the history of cinema, you would expect Daniel Radcliffe to not only have the pick of the ladies, but to also be confident. However, when it comes to dating, Radcliffe (who is now in a relationship) admits that he hasn’t got a magic spell and that despite his successful career; he’s just a normal guy with normal feelings.

Dating may appear to come naturally to some people, however for the majority, spending an entire evening making small talk with a complete stranger is about as appealing as going to the dentist for a filling. How can we beat these feelings?

Escape the ‘norm’ – If the idea of a date scares you why not break free from the ‘classic date’ and do something totally different. Activity based first dates are great for taking away some of the nerves and are excellent for breaking the ice and getting the conversation flowing. However – if you’re more relaxed with a DVD and a bottle of wine on the sofa then by all means do that. Whatever makes you feel the most relaxed will help you to enjoy the date.

Be open minded – Most of us go to the shops with a list but half way round the aisles we end up ditching it and picking up plenty of impulse buys. Now I’m not suggesting you treat your love life like your weekly shopping, but I am suggesting you ditch the 378-point criteria check-list and go on impulse. Who knows, you may end up falling for someone you usually would have written off had you stuck to it.

Say ‘YES’ to all invitations – In a similar way to be open minded, say ‘yes’ to all invitations. Not only will this open up your social circle, but it will also give you plenty more opportunities to meet new people. Getting out of your comfort zone and learning to enjoy the company of new people is a great way to build confidence which can then be put into practice on a date.

Don’t put pressure on yourself – Everyone is different so whatever you do don’t compare yourself to others who may go on dates all the time and seem great at it. Don’t beat yourself up about things or set yourself unrealistic goals like, ‘I have to be in a relationship by the end of the year’. Just go with the flow and see what happens.

Focus on all your GREAT points – Focusing all your energy on what you consider your ‘bad points’ or reasons why the date would go badly is ultimately what makes you nervous about dates. So instead of fixating on negative thoughts, channel your good thoughts. Focus on all of the things you love about yourself and even have your friends make a list of why they love you if you have to!

So if like Radcliffe, you don’t think you’re very good at the art of dating, we suggest you get out there and arrange some dates. Put these tips into practice and start working your magic!

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